安魂曲

Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain

<Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain>, Leslie Jamison

----

This is not something I'd normally read. I see myself as a female who ditches both overtly masculine and overtly feminine ideals, yet aspire after generally masculine imagery; a woman who secretly aspires to the power positions enjoyed by the opposite gender, yet doesn't want to completely yield to gender steoreotypes either way - in other words, the dandy.

But then again, I've never properly read anything in feminism, so it's time to be informed.

At the very least, it keeps the mind engaged.

----

'These days we have a TV show called Girls, about young women who hurt but constantly disclaim their hurting. They fight about rent and boys and betrayal, stolen yogurt and the ways self-pity structures their lives. “You’re a big, ugly wound!” one yells. The other yells back: “No, you’re the wound!” And so they volley, back and forth: You’re the wound; no, you’re the wound. They know women like to claim monopolies on woundedness, and they call each other out on it.

These girls aren’t wounded so much as post-wounded, and I see their sisters everywhere. They’re over it. I am not a melodramatic person. God help the woman who is. What I’ll call “post-?wounded” isn’t a shift in deep feeling (we understand these women still hurt) but a shift away from wounded affect: These women are aware that “woundedness” is overdone and overrated. They are wary of melodrama, so they stay numb or clever instead. Post-wounded women make jokes about being wounded or get impatient with women who hurt too much. The post-wounded woman conducts herself as if preempting certain accusations: Don’t cry too loud; don’t play victim. Don’t ask for pain meds you don’t need; don’t give those doctors another reason to doubt. Post-?wounded women fuck men who don’t love them and then they feel mildly sad about it, or just blasé about it; they refuse to hurt about it or to admit they hurt about it—?r else they are endlessly self-aware about it, if they do allow themselves this hurting.

The post-wounded posture is claustrophobic: jadedness, aching gone implicit, sarcasm quick on the heels of anything that might look like self-pity. I see it in female writers and their female narrators, troves of stories about vaguely dissatisfied women who no longer fully own their feelings. Pain is everywhere and nowhere. Post-?wounded women know that postures of pain play into limited and outmoded conceptions of womanhood. Their hurt has a new native language spoken in several dialects: sarcastic, jaded, opaque; cool and clever. They guard against those moments when melodrama or self-?pity might split their careful seams of intellect, expose the shame of self-?absorption without self-awareness. '

--

'Different kinds of pain summon different terms of art: hurt, suffering, ache, trauma, angst, wounds, damage. Pain is general and holds the others under its wings; hurt connotes something mild and often emotional; angst is the most diffuse and the most conducive to dismissal as something nebulous, sourceless, self-?indulgent, and affected. Suffering is epic and serious; trauma implies a specific devastating event and often links to damage, its residue. While wounds open to the surface, damage happens to the infrastructure—often invisibly, irreversibly—and damage also carries the implication of lowered value. Wound implies en media res: The cause of injury is in the past but the healing isn’t done; we are seeing this situation in the present tense of its immediate aftermath. Wounds suggest sex and aperture: A wound marks the threshold between interior and exterior; it marks where a body has been penetrated. Wounds suggest that the skin has been opened—that privacy is violated in the making of the wound, a rift in the skin, and by the act of peering into it.'

----

I am obsessed with the word suffering.

When I talk about hurtful things done to me, I say damage.

I seldom use hurt or trauma.

But there's something seriously lacking in this discussion:  I use the imagery of scars (or the visibility and invisibility of them) a lot when I talk about wounds.

----

I guess I am 'epic and serious' (and self-indulgent) in a way :D

Oh, and I'm now officially in love with reading MetaFilter, not the least because my first year sociolinguistics tutor wrote a paper on how people pronounce its abbreviated name.


The (teeth-baring) fun of dark cabaret

发现有趣的音乐,是让人开心的事情。

--

This one reminds me of Phil, Ruler of Heck, the Prince of Insufficient Light..from Dilbert.

--

The best bed-time song ever. I'll sing this to my kids one day.




And we didn't give a damn

Whatever emotion there is, The Cranberries has a song for it.

Music is wonderful. Music comforts. And Dolores just has the most wonderfully comforting voice.


Some peaceful gloom

普塞尔是巴洛克音乐的精品香水。

他的歌曲背后的剧本里有所有你能想得到的戏剧性的离合悲欢,但所有的旋律和和弦都是那么烛光摇曳的美。

And both his music and lyrics fit me very, very well.

--

Bonvica's Song: Oh! Lead me to some peaceful gloom (Bonduca, Z574/17)

这是关于英国土著王后反抗罗马侵略者的悲剧。很有名的故事。

曲谱的歌词使用的是旧式拼写。如果你觉得你看到了样子很奇怪的'f',在现代拼写里那是's'.

--

Sweeter than roses (Pausanias, Z585/1)

这是一个在风格上有一点类似莎士比亚的奥赛罗的故事。

正史上的故事是这样:里通波斯的斯巴达将军Pausanias被揭发叛国后逃进雅典娜神庙里(古代的神庙属于圣地,禁止杀人流血)。追捕他的监国官们堵了神庙的门,设了卫兵,围到他即将活活饿死的时候冲进去把他抬了出来,好让他的死不会亵渎圣地。

据说这位将军与薛西斯一世(对,就是温泉关300斯巴达勇士里的那位波斯王)的来往信件里说,他帮助波斯征服斯巴达和希腊的条件是娶波斯公主。

请大家尽管发挥你们的想象力。(其实我真心觉得这家伙相当有谋。)

My dearest, my fairest (Pausanias, Z585/2)

有什么比一个完美的假声男高音更好?

当然是两个完美的假声男高音的和音。

But alas! Should you change..
Ah, tell me not so!

--

Tell me not so.




一张图不解释2

(出自幸ひろし,链接很暴力警告。。转载无侵权意向)

(有才的人都在pixiv。)
(photoshop其实就是上帝把自己的手送给人类的后果。)


Just around the riverbend

I never had much love for the patronising story of Pochahontas, but this particular song is about dreaming, and dream-giving. And that's all that had made a difference.




..and indeed it shall be.

The Perfect Year -- <Sunset Boulevard>, Andrew Lloyd-Webber

祝各位新年快乐!


With all my might.




没有如果,只有所以

如果你因为错过太阳而哭泣,那么你也将错过群星了。-- 泰戈尔,《飞鸟集》


腹黑度测试

http://goisu.net/cgi-bin/psychology/psychology.cgi?menu=c045

(什么你真的要装自己不知道自己有多腹黑么。。)

あなたの【腹黒さ】はこんな感じ!

あなたの腹黒度は【ゴシックレベル】のようです。

数ある腹黒タイプの中でも、あなたはスマートに腹黒さを楽しむタイプ。
ブラックジョークを好み、妖しい雰囲気で人を惑わせ、他人の困惑をひそかに楽しむような趣味があるでしょう。
洗練された黒さに美意識を感じやすいのも特徴です。
つまりあなたにとって腹黒とは、ダンディズムの一種のようなもの。
人生のスパイスとして、人間の黒き側面を垣間見ることを愉しみとしているのでしょう。
趣味が高じる場合、コスプレなどに走る可能性もありますが、魔女のサバトに参加したり、黒魔術に傾倒したりするのは行き過ぎですから気をつけてくださいね。




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