I watched two movies recently. One was Enchanted and the other one, I watched today was The Golden Compass. I watched both alone, sitting in the cinema with a medium coke all to myself. 

I remember back in JC days, I once watched The House of Flying Daggers alone in Cineplex. It was a popular movie and Cineplex was a popular cinema. So it was full-house and I was surrounded by couples and families.I felt rather stupid and pathetic at that time, in the middle row middle seat, as if my loneliness was magnified and examined by everyone in the hall.

That must had started the trend. 

Well, at least nowadays I'm used to it. And I am able to enjoy the movie rather than wasting my time(and money)thinking how miserable I might look.

In fact, I'm getting more and more used to this whole concept of being alone.I go to school alone, shop alone, eat alone and surf internet, read, play with my make-ups and perfumes quietly in my room, alone.

On some level, I'm enjoying this solitude. I like to stay up into the night not because I despise sleeping, rather I seek the peace and privacy covered up in darkness and silence. When everyone else is asleep, I'm not obliged to talk, to answer, to respond or to act. I can do whatever my mind pleases. I am alone, and I am myself.

Ok I have to admit, as much as I long for solitude, I dread loneliness. You see these are two different things, two different concepts. In my e-thesaurus, it is stated as: Loneliness, which refers to a lack of companionship and is often associated with unhappiness, should not be confused with solitude, which is the state of being alone or cut off from all human contact. You can be in the midst of a crowd of people and still experience  loneliness, but not solitude, since you are not physically alone. Similarly, if you enjoy being alone, you can have solitude without loneliness.

So I guess that's why people get into relationships. To avoid this unhappiness caused by loneliness. So you don't have to buy your own birthday cake and sing your own birthday song when the clock strikes the magical 12! So at least someone is obliged to do those things for you. So that someone remembers to kiss you on New Year's Eve, so that someone to cling to instead of a cup of ice cold coke.

Alright when all else fail, you've still got a cup of coke, and maybe next time you can buy an extra large box of popcorn to your movie.