Can't think of any titles already coz my head still spins from last night's alcohol.

Oh when you read this please don't blame me don't scold me don't worry about me. I'm perfectly fine. Almost. Last night really wasn't my fault. And today is my free day.

Don't worry coz I'm really keeping my head above the water. And I'm not downgrading into anyone you'd imagine. When you are back here, I may have changed and may have matured but in front of you I'm always that little spoilt brat girl.

So I was just innocently tasting Martini in Lian ing's room last night. Just curious and he's got this whole stack of different liquors. Martini is only 16% and it tasted like fruity juice...So unalarmingly there were four neat shots down my throat. And I was still quite OK after that, still trying to do my Microsoft Access worksheet.

Then Weiling came in with supper. And then they opened another bottle of oh-what-is-the-name? Which they claimed could not be found in Singapore. It's 40% and it tasted really really bitter...I didn't want to drink that. I promise I really didn't want to. Then Tao Zui came in as well~ oh when this biggest entertainer comes into a room there is no peace anymore.

Should have known better than to let him know the name...so he could search through my phonebook and threaten to call if I refused to drink.

And he kept Weiling well away from the bottle. What game it was when KC, Liang Ping and Tao Zui conspirate together and play all forfeits on me??! And all the while with my handphone in his hands!

I was just simply too gullible to always fall for these kinds of tricks. I should have known better that he would not do such things even if I didn't drink.

Seniors just love to play fool with juniors... tradition...and wait until next batch of freshie come in, with me being a GL~ let's wait and see.

By 3am I was turning into a huge lobster. And I was really really gone. Even in LP's room everybody could see Echo's drunk already. Even with flaming lambo that night at Liquid Room I wasn't like this. But I just wouldn't throw up. Kept all those alcohol inside...and it's really a miracle that I never have hangovers...maybe my body just adapts well for digestion of alcohol?

I promise by doing all these I'm not losing myself and what. There is just this hidden aspect of me, that has never had a chance to surface before. The part of me that longs for the unbearable lightness of being, longs for the wildness. Perhaps I've played as a goody goody exemplary girl for too long.

And please, you can think of me for all you want. But don't judge me. You're not me, and you don't know what's going on inside of me.

Heck care.

So I vaguely remembered after their discussion they decided that Echo was too drunk to be sent back to her own room, just in case she might puke...and her roomie was asleep alr...

And I was too dizzy to stand on my own. So TZ had to literally hand carry my whole weight to his room...yeah the only room that has an extra mattress. WL put quilt over me, and I just immediately passed out on the mattress...for like about five mins? Coz I woke up when this face suddenly emerged from the cloudiness of my head. And before I even knew it tears just welled up. Or maybe it's just normal that many girls do cry after drunk. I remembered cling on to WL and muttered some words and she kept saying yes, you go and sleep. But I couldn't. It haunted me like a nightmare. Especially when alcohol took away all the covers and tore down the walls I built around me.

I remembered TZ rubbing my head and hugging me, telling me not to cry. And I said something stupid like I don't want you I want him.

Oh my God. He's gonna laugh me at this.

But in fact, I can't even recall your face now. I browsed through your photos today and you looked so distant and strange. I almost wonder if I have ever known you let alone got so close. It almost felt non-existent. So I really don't understand what lies there that I couldn't let go.

I'm really getting long-winded.

So the last thing I could recall was TZ and WL left the room and switched off the lights. And I fell asleep. Or maybe I did woke up another time and TZ fed me some water. Strange that I didn't have headache this time...

And this morning I woke up by the sound of rain splashing against the window. I was on the bed and TZ was on the mattress...poor thing...I robbed his quilt, pillow and Kingkoil bed, again~ I sneaked out of the room~ But then my roomie locked the door! WHAT???!!! So I had to drag my lazy feet to go down to hall office to get keys and climbed all the way up again~~~ Sigh Sigh~ I haf to go back to sleep now...